IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that money spent by the
government
Use synonyms
 on training athletes for the global competition should be spent on the public
instead
Linking Words
 as it is their own tax money. While I believe that governments should invest more in sports and its participants than making more flyovers or gardens.
This
Linking Words
 essay would discuss the benefits of
government
Use synonyms
 supporting a
sportsperson
Suggestion
 for preparing them for International events. We live in the times where having
global ranking
Suggestion
a global ranking
 in athletics has become integral. More and more countries have started coming together and competing.
Such
Linking Words
 events hold a national reputation
on
Suggestion
at
 stake to prove which country has a better population in athletics.
Hence
Linking Words
 to prove in
this
Linking Words
 scenario, the local authorities support individuals for training them for
such
Linking Words
 events.
Such
Linking Words
 sports events
also
Linking Words
 support in breaking the old notion followed in out countries for instances, In India earlier female participation in any events was bare minimal,
Linking Words
however in
Accept comma addition
however, in
past 5 years
Suggestion
the past 5 years
 we have won in all the categories and now we have Badminton world champion, Fastest Female runner and Boxing world champion. And now many girls look up to them and dream to be one of them.
Thus
Linking Words
, sometimes
its
it is
it's
 more important for the
government
Use synonyms
 to focus
on training one
Suggestion
training on one
 person. To conclude, for the
government
Use synonyms
 to have a ranking in the top best countries of athletes is important for
countries'
Suggestion
country's
 reputation, and
secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 investment most times breaks long old barriers of thought to build a better tomorrow.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend tax money on training individuals for them to succeed in International sporting events.
Submitted by write2navleen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: