The continued rise in the world's population is the great problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the cause of this continue rise?Do you agree that is the great problem faced by humanity

#rise #world #population #humanity #time #continue

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over

Suggestion

Over

the past few decades, there has been a significant increase in the amount of population around the world. There is not doubt that

this

Linking Words

has been caused by

meddical

relating to the study or practice of medicine

medical

technology advanced and aging

society

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, In my opinion, humanity is

the hugest

Suggestion

the huge

issue that human being need to be

deal

Suggestion

dealt

with. One of the main causes

for

Suggestion

the risen in the levels of population has been

medical

Suggestion

medically

medicated

and treatment development.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the past, people who suffered from plague, there was no medication and vaccination be invented so they couldn't get treatment

immedialy

without delay or hesitation; with no time intervening

immediately

Nowadays

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, however

however

Linking Words

, vaccination is

gevien

acknowledged as a supposition

given

giving

compulsory and

therefore

Linking Words

some of

disease

Suggestion

the disease

can be prevented.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people can have

longer

Suggestion

long

expentency

Suggestion

expected

expectancy

and have

better environment

Suggestion

a better environment

to dwell.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, many people have higher education than before, so they

have have

have or possess, either in a concrete or an abstract sense

have

the concept of contraception. According Taiwan research showed that the amount of total fertility rate in Taiwan has dropped rapidly from 4.0 to 1.218 which is the lowest in the world over the past 50 years.

In other words

Linking Words

, people

hvae

have or possess, either in a concrete or an abstract sense

have

gain

Suggestion

gained

knowledge of contraception and tend to have less children at

present time

Suggestion

the present time

Nerverthelss

Suggestion

Nevertheless

althought

even though, in spite of the fact that

although

overpopulation has been a major concern, I am

conviunced

persuaded of; very sure

convinced

convince

that humanity would be the great

promble

a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved

problem

in the

society

Use synonyms

as a whole. A case in a point, thanks to medical improvement, people have longer life and

therefore

Linking Words

leading to aging

society

Use synonyms

in many parts of the world.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, they are less

likelt

has a good chance of being the case or of coming about

likely

to be cared and supported. Another contributing factor is inequality,

For instance

Linking Words

, citizens who live in

undeveloping

Suggestion

countries

Accept space

they are unable to afford the cost of medical care

also

Linking Words

live in a poor sanitary environment,

on the other hand

Linking Words

wealth

Suggestion

wealthy

wealthier

countries have better medical resources. In conclusion, I totally agree that overpopulation can lead to many

nagative

characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features

negative

impact on the

society

Use synonyms

which is the great issue

interms

Suggestion

in terms

of human nature.

Therefore

Linking Words

government

Suggestion

the government

should introduce related legislation and provide welfare,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon can be alleviated.

Submitted by vivishen1234 on Tue Jul 21 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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The continued rise in the world's population is the great problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the cause of this continue rise?Do you agree that is the great problem faced by humanity

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some areas of the US, a “curfew” is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?