IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that to become successful in sports one should have a natural talent. Others think that perseverance and practice are a crucial part of success. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #talent #perseverance #practice #part #success
The line graph is showing the
number
 of three types of electronic devices, namely
desktops
, laptops, and tablets, that were sold from January to June. The data are given in the numbers of the items sold in
months
Suggestion
the months
 from January to June. Overall, the sale of laptops experienced steady growth, whereas the growth trend for tablets witnessed some fluctuation during the measured
period
. Meanwhile, the
number
 of the sold
desktops
 was falling steadily throughout the
period
. At the beginning of the time
period
, In January, the figure for
desktops
 was at its peak, at 80, followed by a decrease to about 45 sold items in February, and 30 items in March. The sale of desktop computers continued to fall steadily during the rest
to
Suggestion
of
 the time
period
 until it fell to just 5 sold
desktops
 in June. Regarding laptops, it can be seen that the figures started at 30 in January, experiencing a slight drop to about 25 in February, the month after which the
number
 of the sold items in
this
 category underwent a slight increase to about 50 in April. Afterward, the figure experiences some fluctuation, slightly falling to 45 in May and reaching its high of 55 in June. In terms of tablets, the graph illustrates that their sale rose gradually over the entire time
period
. The figures started at 10 in January, followed by a small increase in February and March, to around 15 and 20, respectively. Afterward, the
number
 of
sold
Suggestion
selling
 tablets witnessed a gradual increase in the
next
 few months, reaching its
high
Suggestion
highest
 at about 95 sold tablets in June.
Submitted by Gudrun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: