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Band 7.5

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
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The young are confronting more stresses in these few decades from school, social and business perspectives.
This
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 essay will
first
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 demonstrate that the biggest cause of
this
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 problem is the culture of comparison between people, followed by an analysis of building self-confidence in our own is the most viable solution.
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 of all, the trend in
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 20th century society is that people keep comparing themselves to adults and others did the same attitude to their children as well. Some of the adults will inculcate their children that they should be more intelligent than others, especially in the academic result. More than that, children will always compare themselves to others for prevailing their parents’ agreement. A recent study found that 80% of the reason for those younger who suicides was because of the comparison of people around them, and it led them to other stresses like academic, social and works by ending up with collapse. There are many ways that people can solve
this
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 problem. The most viable solution is that children should be taught to build their self-confidence since they were born. Self-confidence is the belief to believe in ourselves that we can accomplish all the difficulties or adversity. The adults should inculcate their offspring to believe in themselves, but not judging them because of making a difference to others to reduce the obstacle of pressures. In
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 way, children will not be afraid of being different and will be more motivated to strive hard for themselves. A recent research concluded that judging someone else may lead them to reduce their confidence and ended up with inferiority. In conclusion, the trouble of pressures from school, society and business must be solved play an important role in ruining one’s personality development.
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, it should be solved immediately with a useful solution like the way I mentioned just now.
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 but not least, building self-confidence is the most the emphasis of successful.
Submitted by laskalksal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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