IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people are changing their jobs or careers every few years. what do you think are the reasons? do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is a fact that many youngsters tend to try diverse types of jobs, myriad of them are constantly changing their careers. In
this
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 essay, I will consider both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 activity and give my own opinion. In my opinion, If changing jobs has some strong reasons, it will be rational for a few times
otherwise
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 it wouldn’
t
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 be beneficial and lead individuals to stray from the right way. The majority of my peers do various careers until they find their favourite
job
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 and what they can live with happily, not the thing that causes their frustration.
In other words
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, they can create a balance between their business and life.
For instance
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, my sister intends to leave her
job
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 because she isn'
t
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 convenient with the
time
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 and lots of compulsory extra
work
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, she has a thoughtless executive.
In addition
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, some others may suffer from lower salaries
while
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 they
work
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 hard for plenty of hours or they might have thoughtless and normal colleagues.
However
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, numerous are tempted by others to change their
work
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 to be more convenient and have much more free
time
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 or they would like to experience a variety of careers atmosphere, these people don'
t
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 know what they want exactly and nothing makes them fulfil and they wouldn'
t
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 be expert in a special activity, So that, eventually they have a colourful resume which isn'
t
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 efficient to find a better
job
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due to
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 companies and employers find them playful and a person who stays for a short
time
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 in a particular
job
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.
consequently
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, they face some difficult circumstances to find a permanent
job
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. In conclusion, it is reasonable that younger people modify their occupations a few times to achieve the best one that matches them in terms of character, income, workmates, and environment because we spend most of our
time
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 at
work
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 so we should make the best decision about it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth and effective in guiding the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay must include both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should set the stage and outline the main points you will discuss, while the conclusion should summarily reflect on what has been discussed and restate your position or findings.
coherence cohesion
It is essential that you support each of your main points with relevant examples or evidence. While personal anecdotes can be effective, they must be directly related to the topic and clearly demonstrate the point you're trying to make.
task achievement
Your response should comprehensively address all parts of the task. This means discussing the reasons young people change jobs, as well as considering both the advantages and disadvantages, and sharing your viewpoint on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Be sure to cover all these aspects sufficiently.
task achievement
Ideas presented should be clear and easily understood, with comprehensive explanation. Vagueness can weaken your argument and leave the examiner with questions.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples is a key part of supporting your ideas. These examples should be detailed and directly linked to the points you are making. General statements without clear examples will not demonstrate your full understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • skill acquisition
  • career growth
  • stability
  • adaptability
  • fluctuating
  • economic conditions
  • market demand
  • competitive advantage
  • loyalty
  • commitment
  • financial rewards
  • professional development
  • networking
  • job security
  • workplace culture
  • employment opportunities
  • job stability
  • job hopping
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
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