At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Currently, some countries have

considerably higher proportion

Suggestion

a considerably higher proportion

of young people in comparison with the quantity of senior citizens. In my opinion, I consider that

this

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situation can impart more advantages as opposed to any drawbacks it might bring. Despite the disadvantages below, I believe that the countries which include larger number of youngsters can gain a lot of tangible benefits.

Firstly

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, younger citizens tend to be more innovative and flexible.

This

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quality of younger population can be a great asset in every sphere of

economy

Suggestion

the economy

of any country that wish to advance.

For example

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, in cases of recession or other difficult times, usually the people who are young and ready to take risks can safeguard the nation.

Secondly

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, it is common for many young adults to study in colleges and universities or to work for any

institutions thereby

Accept comma addition

institutions, thereby

benefiting the economy and the society as a whole.

However

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this

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is not the case with most elderly people who are retired and getting medical care, which is leading to ageing population Admittedly, there are some issues involved with

younger population

Suggestion

the younger population

younger populations

a younger population

. One problem is that those countries which have

larger number

Suggestion

a larger number

of young adults might be exposed to higher crime rates.

For instance

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, according to recent statistics, 80% percent of

crime

Suggestion

crimes

are committed by the people who are under 30. Another negative aspect is that young citizens tend to experience and live modern life style and ignore traditional and cultural values.

Consequently

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, a nation might lose some valuable and ancient customs or practices resulting in the disappearance of national identity. In conclusion, in spite of some negative sides mentioned above, I am of the opinion that nations which have more young citizens compared to the elderly can benefit in many ways and clearly outweigh any drawbacks.

Lakshita SharmaThu Jul 23 2020

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Your opinion

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ChatGPT Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities.