Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected insted. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A group of individuals suggest that the lives of all dangerous species should be preserved
while
another set
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
rather than that, a limited
number
of dangerous
animals
should be kept. In my opinion, I believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
only the lives of dangerous
animals
pertinent to humans should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
be conserved as these
animals
pose a serious threat to human life . On
one
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
other hand, a certain school of
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
believes all dangerous
animals
should be protected and
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
is
due to
the fact that all
animals
are needed to have a functional ecosystem.
Animals
are required at every level of the food chain and the absence of one animal could lead to the disruption of energy levels and lead to the emergence of problems like famine which could occur simply
as a result
of the eradication of wild locusts. An example of
this
is seen in Guinea-Bissau where the minister of environment released a report about the surge in the infertility of their farmlands and attributed
this
to the absence of
wild natured
Add a hyphen
wild-natured
show examples
earthworms that burrow the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
surface.
On the other hand
, another school of
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
thinks that a limited
number
of wild
animals
should be preserved and I agree because of the imminent dangers these
animals
pose. A large
number
of wild
animals
are dangerous and for the purpose of feeding have been responsible for the gruesome mutilation of mankind and
this
has
consequently
resulted in the decision to preserve the less violent ones. Studies from the Institute of Forest and Animal Reserves in Florida showed that people were responsible for the massacre of a large
number
of bears in the state and
this
annihilation
begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
after over 60 thousand people were murdered by these bears in the forests.
Furthermore
, it is extremely difficult
domesticating
Change the verb form
to domesticate
show examples
wild
animals
. Zoo
keeper
Fix the agreement mistake
keepers
show examples
find it highly laborious
taming
Change the verb form
to tame
show examples
some wild
animals
such
as lions and monkeys and would be even more arduous to domesticate a higher
number
of dangerous species. In conclusion,
although
these wild
animals
are needed to complete the food chain and energy levels for an effective ecosystem, the imminent threat to human life they pose
coupled with
the extreme difficulty attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
tending to them should not be ignored.
Submitted by Eridojoale on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you address both points of view clearly and provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive structure by using appropriate linking words and organizing your ideas more effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: