There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

A several nations have been living the current society and they have traditions, rules and specific

music

. The

music

is a very important thing for peoples and will be discussing how is important that for life using below the paragraph.

First I

Accept comma addition

First, I

want to tell,

refers to the speaker or writer

have many reasons for why is

music

essential for peoples. They can forget their problems while listening to

music

. The

music

is an entertaining thing

also

we can improve some our skill. Through learning

music

, playing

music

instrument and singing song was helped to world famous philosophers to build their lives. Today, we have various

music

in traditional and international but we give a 1st place for traditional

music

while we are listening to both of

music

. Traditional

music

is an endemic for our culture.

Submitted by thish on Fri Jul 24 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

131 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rathan than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?