Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though thay often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #sports #stars #thay #development

It is true that there is a tendency for teenagers to revere famous athletes.

Although

not all

sportspeople

are good role models, I believe the majority do have a largely positive impact on individuals and society as a whole. On the one hand, there are several reasons why professional sports athletes have beneficial effects on the youth. Perhaps the

first

reason is that most

sportspeople

Suggestion

sports people

have

attractive athletic

Accept comma addition

attractive, athletic

bodies, thanks to a constant dedication to training and a healthy lifestyle, which can encourage the participation of youngsters in physical activities.

As a result

, young people who look up to sports stars might engage in regular exercises,

such

as working out regularly at the gym or taking up sports, for the purpose of getting into shape. The

second

reason is that diligence and persistence they show in competitions could be a source of inspiration for people to deal with setbacks in their lives.

For example

, in the Paralympic Games, athletes in wheelchairs with artificial limbs exerted themselves to the limit to gain achievements and

this

could inspire disabled children to overcome illnesses and disadvantages.

On the other hand

, sports celebrities

also

have a positive impact on our society.

Firstly

, some athletes devote time to partake in voluntary work and

this

could motivate

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

to make a contribution to the community. Cristiano Ronaldo, as an example, who is one of the most idolised football stars in the world, assisted philanthropic organizations in helping underprivileged children and encouraged his fans to join charitable campaigns.

Secondly

, even sports athletes who have bad sportsmanship

also

provide moral lessons to the youth.

For example

, athletes using performance-enhancing drugs in order to get the competitive edge over their opponents have been severely punished and

this

reminds young people again about the importance of honesty in sports and as well as in life. In conclusion, I am of

opinion

Suggestion

the opinion

that young people are influenced in positive ways by well-known

athletes despite

Accept comma addition

athletes, despite

the fact that some have bad qualities.

Submitted by Nguyễn Hạnh on Fri Jul 24 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though thay often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are by robots. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports club, believing this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so.