Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though thay often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is true that there is a tendency for teenagers to revere famous athletes.
Although
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not all
sportspeople
Suggestion
are good role models, I believe the majority do have a largely positive impact on individuals and society as a whole. On the one hand, there are several reasons why professional sports athletes have beneficial effects on the youth. Perhaps the
first
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reason is that most
sportspeople
Suggestion
sports people
have
attractive athletic
Accept comma addition
attractive, athletic
bodies, thanks to a constant dedication to training and a healthy lifestyle, which can encourage the participation of youngsters in physical activities.
As a result
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, young people who look up to sports stars might engage in regular exercises,
such
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as working out regularly at the gym or taking up sports, for the purpose of getting into shape. The
second
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reason is that diligence and persistence they show in competitions could be a source of inspiration for people to deal with setbacks in their lives.
For example
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, in the Paralympic Games, athletes in wheelchairs with artificial limbs exerted themselves to the limit to gain achievements and
this
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could inspire disabled children to overcome illnesses and disadvantages.
On the other hand
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, sports celebrities
also
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have a positive impact on our society.
Firstly
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, some athletes devote time to partake in voluntary work and
this
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could motivate
young generation
Suggestion
the young generation
to make a contribution to the community. Cristiano Ronaldo, as an example, who is one of the most idolised football stars in the world, assisted philanthropic organizations in helping underprivileged children and encouraged his fans to join charitable campaigns.
Secondly
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, even sports athletes who have bad sportsmanship
also
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provide moral lessons to the youth.
For example
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, athletes using performance-enhancing drugs in order to get the competitive edge over their opponents have been severely punished and
this
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reminds young people again about the importance of honesty in sports and as well as in life. In conclusion, I am of
opinion
Suggestion
the opinion
that young people are influenced in positive ways by well-known
athletes despite
Accept comma addition
athletes, despite
the fact that some have bad qualities.
Submitted by Nguyễn Hạnh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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