IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work and communicate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#society #work #internet #contact #development
With the rapid
development
 of the Internet and widespread use of the computers, people can go shopping,
work
 and communicate online in modern society. In my perspective, these
development
 advantages outweigh disadvantages. There is no doubt that the Internet will make our lives more convenient and efficient. Primarily, people can break through the barriers of
time
 and space to do anything they want,
such
 as shopping online at home, completing some unexpected
work
 tasks on weekends.
In particular
, if you need to communicate with each other abruptly, the Internet will be very helpful. You may not be able to have a face-to-face contact in a very timely fashion, which may cause some serious
consequences so
Accept comma addition
consequences, so
 that communication via a communication via video chat programme and social media is the best way to solve
this
 problem. Another benefit of web-based technology is that people can save some cost of
time
 and money. People can shop online, telecommuting and web chat which allow them to avoid possible travel
time
 and costs.
For example
, there are large numbers of office workers who can reduce unnecessary trips during rush
hour which
Accept comma addition
hour, which
 can reduce traffic congestion and make full use of
time
 if they needn't travel to
work
. And, people who need to travel a long distance to
work
 should be delighted
too
in the direction of
to
.
In addition
, shopping online is a convenient alternative to driving to the store, because it not only helps
do
Suggestion
does
time
 management well, but
also
 lets people look up a range of similar items for comparison quickly. At the same
time
, people can enjoy a more comfortable environment at home where they can
do
engage in
make
 things happier and have a high quality of life.
Although
 the Internet offers positives that are deniable, there are some shortcomings to it.
This
development
 diminishes the opportunities to go outside, which makes the young generation lose some social skills.
Furthermore
, it is harmful for eyesight to face to phones and computers in a whole day. But no matter what, web-based technology aims to provide humans with a life of high quality and a
work
 style of convenience which I believe
that is
 a positive and great
development
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • remote work
  • virtual meetings
  • contactless transactions
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • efficiency
  • time-saving
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • social interaction
  • fraud
  • misuse
  • dependency
  • technology
What to do next:
Look at other essays: