Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development

In the contemporary era, most people prefer to socialize online rather than face to face. I believe that,

this

negative

Suggestion

a negative development

development

. Some people say

this

positive

Suggestion

a positive development

development

while

others argues

Accept comma addition

others, argues

this

brings up negative

development

. I believe that,

this

create

Suggestion

creates

negative

development

on them.

Firstly

, being socialize may end up with

mind

Suggestion

a mind

-illness,

such

as depression, anxiety and so on. Recently, there was an article regarding more than 70% younger people in US having depression because of using social media more than 12 hours/day.

Secondly

, people can not able to identify the real character of

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

unless they meet them personally. In fact,

few days

Suggestion

a few days

back, a couple who got married by

met

Suggestion

meeting

up in online have gotten a divorce within 6 months of marriage.

Furthermore

, people do not know about how to behave in society. If a person who tends to spend on social media rather than going outside meet

someother

Suggestion

some others

some other

in outside, they usually do not know what to talk with them. To support

this

, my uncle's son who tends

to spent

Suggestion

to be spent

their whole day in phone. One day, his father's mother came to home, he did not know what to talk with them.

Moreover

, one

can not

cannot

get all latest news through the social media. Sometimes talking with others personally, they can gain some knowledge, even they can learn something identical from the others. To conclude with,

although

there are a

alot

(often followed by 'of') a large number or amount or extent

lot

of benefits of being

socialize

Suggestion

socialized

, the negative impact of

this

overweighted

usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it

overweight

the positive

development

Submitted by vemula pavan on Fri Jul 24 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or motor-bikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?