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Writing Samples
Band 4

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution
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Today, in contemporary
life
Use synonyms
 people have implemented incredible technologies in
sphere
Suggestion
the sphere
 of medicine.
Therefore
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, people can expect to live a longer and healthier
life
Use synonyms
 than in the past. A group of people
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that, individuals over sixty five should spend
rest
Suggestion
the rest
 of their
life
Use synonyms
 with relaxing and travelling.
However
Linking Words
, it seems to me that, who reach retirement age are interested in contributing actively to their community. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will outline two ways in which interest can benefit society.
First
Linking Words
 of all, nowadays a vast majority of children are forgetting about their tradition and history. The main reason, why kids are unaware of their heritage, is spread of mobile phones and computers. It’s obvious that, these days students would like to get latest models of cell phones rather than to learn how their mother countries obtain independence. In order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, the authorities should invite local retired people into schools to speak to children about
past
Suggestion
the past
 of their country. It’s one of the ways in which elders can assist
to
Suggestion
in
 the community. Another way in which society can benefit from
older generation
Suggestion
an older generation
the older generation
older generations
 is asking out older employees to share with job experience. During their
life
Use synonyms
, people go through difficulties and gain plethora of experiences. Older people may not be able to do a full
day
Suggestion
day's
 work;
however
Linking Words
, their experience might continue to be valuable to their employers.
For instance
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in some companies in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
 where elder employees remained in work as mentors for younger workers. Overall, schools and workplaces are just two of the areas in which who have reached retirement age can go on to contribute to their society. Today, when people depend on
technologies
Suggestion
the technologies
 we
need in advice
Suggestion
need advice
 from elders more than ever.
Submitted by Abdulaziz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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