IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that robots are very important to humans’ future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although
Linking Words
 quite a few people criticize
this
Linking Words
 view, citing that adverse impacts of automation are inexorable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind, others claim that
robots
Use synonyms
 play an essential role in the future progression. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline the discussion predicated on these aspects;
however
Linking Words
, the benefits of
robots
Use synonyms
 outweigh the drawbacks in terms of accuracy and efficiency. On the one hand, the prevalence and development of
robots
Use synonyms
 hold detriments in terms of the unemployment rate.
In other words
Linking Words
, these machines substitute humans in specific workplaces, thereby reducing a multitude of
workers
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, robot’s speed and consistency enable them to outperform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 in manual jobs
such
Linking Words
 as tailoring.
As a result
Linking Words
, companies are eager to gain much profit by hiring
robots
Use synonyms
 and firing
workers
Use synonyms
. A prime example of
this
Linking Words
 is that it is because Microsoft commences to prefer robotic machines to manual labour that unemployment rates in
this
Linking Words
 company
experiences
Wrong verb form
have experienced
show examples
 a significant increase in recent years. Considering
this
Linking Words
 cardinal factor, the repercussions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automation cannot be overlooked. On the one hand, accuracy and efficiency are the most crucial advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 is no doubt that a plethora of
workers
Use synonyms
 can be irritated by doing repetitive tasks, which leads to costly errors.
However
Linking Words
,
robots
Use synonyms
 are capable of enforcing
this
Linking Words
 kind of chores precisely and accurately.
In addition
Linking Words
, not only do androids work accurately, but they
also
Linking Words
 work efficiently by saving time and averting human
injures
Replace the word
injuries
show examples
 and death in various situations.
For instance
Linking Words
, only when
robots
Use synonyms
 are sent to explore the nature of Amazon forests, would it be possible to garner a plethora of valuable information about
this
Linking Words
 territory.
Thus
Linking Words
, no matter how many individuals
opposes
Change the verb form
oppose
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view; their advantages are beneficial for the public.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 matter
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 whether
robots
Use synonyms
 are useful or not has been discussed from two divergent standpoints. To my mind,
although
Linking Words
 there are several disadvantages of the advent of them, I strongly believe that their benefits are greater.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it again in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, which will help your essay flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points about robots and their effects on society.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your points about accuracy and efficiency are strong and relevant.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: