IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Crimes in cities are higher than in rural areas. Discuss why and profer solutions

#crimes #cities #areas #profer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 in most societies is mostly higher in metropolitan cities than the suburban areas. The growing
rate
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 is a worrisome
factor
Use synonyms
 that plagues cities as all sorts of crimes are
commited
bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude
committed
 from petty theft to elaborate, sometimes dark and dangerous murders, heists, thefts, drug related offences
,
Accept space
,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
.
Accept space
.
 In my opinion, the quest for easy and quick money is a major
factor
Use synonyms
 in the
increase
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 in the cities. The city bustle and fast life
is
Suggestion
are
 an attraction to many people from different parts of the world. Everyone wants to make it big in the city, live the urban life by any means possible even to the detriment of others. The easy lure of
crime
Use synonyms
, its appeal and quick earnings is not easy to ignore even the most pious have been tempted by
this
Linking Words
factor
Use synonyms
. Living in a city is not cheap either compared to the rural areas where life is easier and cheaper. The suburban areas are usually smaller communities with everybody knowing each
other
Accept comma addition
other, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
 is little or barely existent. The high
rate
Use synonyms
 of unemployment is
also
Linking Words
 a key
factor
Use synonyms
 in the
increase
Use synonyms
 in
crime
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 under employment which means
although
Linking Words
 an individual has a job it is a low paying job. The main ways to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 is to
increase
Use synonyms
employment
Suggestion
the employment rate
employment rates
rate
Use synonyms
 in the society and reduce the number of minimum wage jobs.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage more people to work in order to earn a decent living.
Also
Linking Words
 the government should
increase
Use synonyms
 social amenities in the cities from parks to recreational centres so that young people can have fairly decent leisure and physical activities whenever they are bored or inactive. I believe these and many more suggestions would reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime rate
crime rates
rate
Use synonyms
. When people become more engaged by education, work or social activities and they have less financial worries
definately
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
crime
Use synonyms
 will reduce in the metropolis.
Submitted by Ozzie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: