In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

#parts #world #families #people #children #part

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Family is the starting point of

education

Use synonyms

. In the past, people considered that having

big family

Suggestion

a big family

was beneficial for teaching children about empathy and collaboration.

Although

Linking Words

it is conceivable that working together can be taught through relatives, we have to realize that having too large family will

also

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contribute for some drawbacks.

First

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and foremost, parents who have too many children will have impediments

for

Suggestion

giving the best formal

education

Use synonyms

for their kids.

This

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is because every school requires

fund

Suggestion

funding

and tuition fees.

For instance

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, in Indonesia, people have to spend more than 5 million a year

for

Suggestion

school, not to mention the payment for entrance, uniform, books, and study tour. If one family

have

Suggestion

has

5 kids,

hence

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they have to spend more than 25 million a year for

education

Use synonyms

. In other hand, with

average salary

Suggestion

average salaries

the average salary

an average salary

Indonesia ranging

Accept comma addition

Indonesia, ranging

between 2-3 million in a month, parents will have no ability to pay the school.

Consequently

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, many students are

dropout

Suggestion

drop out

or reach the lower level of

education

Use synonyms

and prosperity.

Second

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, Indonesia is the five biggest

country

Suggestion

countries

population

Use synonyms

. High

population

Use synonyms

will have a detrimental effect not only on the thrive for living but

also

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on sustainability. As Malthus said that while

population

Use synonyms

grows up exponentially,

food

Use synonyms

increases linearly, so there will be a threat

for

Suggestion

food

Use synonyms

supply in the future.

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Otherwise we

Accept comma addition

Otherwise, we

control the birth rate, our

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generation will burden the risk of competing for

job

Suggestion

jobs

a job

the job

and

food

Use synonyms

In addition

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, since people producing more

food

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and products without considering the environment,

this

Linking Words

will absolutely harm the nature. As a conclusion, the disadvantages of having big family overweight the benefits due to the impact

for

Suggestion

the level of

education

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and environment sustainability.

Hence

Linking Words

, control the number of

population

Use synonyms

through small family campaign might be the answer

Suggestion

the problems.

Submitted by sylvia faustine on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Celebrities earn more salary than senior politicians in some countries. Is this a positive development or negative? what is the reason?

ome people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the reasons of it? What measures government and individuals should take to resolve this?

Some argue that all young children should be required to stay with full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?