In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

Family is the starting point of
education
. In the past, people considered that having
big family
Suggestion
a big family
was beneficial for teaching children about empathy and collaboration.
Although
it is conceivable that working together can be taught through relatives, we have to realize that having too large family will
also
contribute for some drawbacks.
First
and foremost, parents who have too many children will have impediments
for
Suggestion
to
giving the best formal
education
for their kids.
This
is because every school requires
fund
Suggestion
funding
and tuition fees.
For instance
, in Indonesia, people have to spend more than 5 million a year
for
Suggestion
in
school, not to mention the payment for entrance, uniform, books, and study tour. If one family
have
Suggestion
has
5 kids,
hence
they have to spend more than 25 million a year for
education
. In other hand, with
average salary
Suggestion
average salaries
the average salary
an average salary
in
Indonesia ranging
Accept comma addition
Indonesia, ranging
between 2-3 million in a month, parents will have no ability to pay the school.
Consequently
, many students are
dropout
Suggestion
drop out
or reach the lower level of
education
and prosperity.
Second
, Indonesia is the five biggest
country
Suggestion
countries
in
population
. High
population
will have a detrimental effect not only on the thrive for living but
also
on sustainability. As Malthus said that while
population
grows up exponentially,
food
increases linearly, so there will be a threat
for
Suggestion
to
food
supply in the future.
Otherwise we
Accept comma addition
Otherwise, we
control the birth rate, our
next
generation will burden the risk of competing for
job
Suggestion
jobs
a job
the job
and
food
.
In addition
, since people producing more
food
and products without considering the environment,
this
will absolutely harm the nature. As a conclusion, the disadvantages of having big family overweight the benefits due to the impact
for
Suggestion
of
the level of
education
and environment sustainability.
Hence
, control the number of
population
through small family campaign might be the answer
of
Suggestion
to
the problems.
Submitted by sylvia faustine on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: