In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some parts of cultures in different countries of the world, children are often given the
message
that they can accomplish everything they prefer if they work hard sufficient. In the following paragraphs, both benefits and drawbacks outcomes of
this
message
will be discussed in detail. The possible advantage of
this
message
is that children can have a great opportunity to be successful more than before depends upon the great effort and intention that they had put into works and life. It can be seen from the newspaper that many famous people,
such
as Elon Musk told that when he was in an institution, he had studied at least 8 hours per day for the exam.
Consequently
, nowadays, he has achieved his main goal faster than his classmates and
therefore
being one of the prime examples for many teenagers.
On the other hand
,
this
message
has pressured them too much, and
thus
lead to the fact that many children these days have stress and cannot release it because they want to accomplish the goal that they have dreamed for, regardless of caring their mental health. Many experts had written through the internet blogs that the proportion of the children that decide to suicide themselves since they do not get what they want,
for instance
, the perfect grade
from
Suggestion
for
the academic test, has dramatically increased in the modern day. To sum up, even though
this
culture of telling their children to try hard can be a positive outcome for many youths by their increased chance of accomplishing the goal, but it can be led to the stress problem if they do not take care of themselves.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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