An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Recently, the number of
people
who are doing cosmetic surgery
to improve their looks has increased a lot. There are some advantages and disadvantages of changing the appearance.
Firstly
, the advantage of changing the look is that people
want to be more pretty or handsome to become more famous in the world by using some social media such
as Instagram or TikTok and so on. There are some of them who want to change their looks because of some other people
such
as classmates who like to bully their face.
Secondly
, the disadvantage of changing the appearance is that, after changing the looks it will cost a lot on each part of the body. Doing cosmetic surgery
will cause some bad infections to the human body or health. after they finish surgery
the appearance will stay for some years but after the things that the doctor put inside will break or rot. This
means that it will look worse after they finish.
It is a very low percentage but the doctor might fail the cosmetic surgery
and people
will look worse than before. In my experience, there is one woman who is doing TikTok and spending around 300 million dollars to do cosmetic surgery
to look more pretty. However
, in my opinion, she looks very weird to me and she looks like a woman made by AI.
To sum up
, there are some advantages and disadvantages of cosmetic surgery
to change their look it will look more pretty or handsome but it will cost more money and the surgery
might fail. In my opinion, doing cosmetic surgery
is a negative development.Submitted by dokmally2 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on clearly structuring your ideas into distinct paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay. For example, each paragraph should focus on one main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Improve task response by providing more detailed and varied examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of your essay and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a final opinion.
task achievement
Your essay includes both advantages and disadvantages of cosmetic surgery, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
You have presented your opinion in the conclusion, which is essential for this task.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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