Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds? Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the governments these days are paying excessive attention to the conservation of wildlife.
This
essay agrees with the given information because there is a surplus demand to look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other human requirements, and regimes should divert funds to fulfil their needs. To commence with, in the contemporary world, unarguably, human activities have contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
disturbing the balance of the whole ecosystem.It is clearly evident that biodiversity should be protected.
However
, the extinction of some species does not leave potential impacts on the existence of life on the planet Earth.
For instance
,
dinosaurs'
Correct article usage
the dinosaurs'
show examples
extinction has not had any adverse effects, it merely triggered the survival of mammals to a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
extent.
Thus
, keeping in mind, several factors apart from protecting fauna, intensive steps are required in other directions as well. Another fact is that the administration should look into providing basic amenities to the general public.Since the development of any nation depends on the progress of its citizens,
therefore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
funds should be allocated to access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern healthcare facilities, employment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the youth and a better lifestyle
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the masses.
Although
I certainly favour the protection of the wild creatures, not for the sake of ignoring other essential areas. In conclusion, it has become a question of debate, whether extreme focus on conserving wild animals and birds, is appropriate or not.I think there are various sectors where governments should concentrate,
such
as education,
along with
conservation
Correct article usage
the conservation
show examples
of biological diversity.
Submitted by kajalmaan.16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in presenting a comprehensive argument. The points raised are not fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more thorough analysis of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks strong logical connections between ideas. The flow of the essay could be improved by using clearer transitions and structuring the content more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: