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Band 2

Some people think that government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problem to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #focus #environment #pollution #illness #disease
It is true that, living in a polluted
environment
 will cause lots of health issues.
This
 has always been an argumentative topic on whether government should focus on
envrionment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
environments
 and housing problems. In my opinion, by simply improving the
envrionemt
 and housing problems we can cure people being sick and much
improvenment
a change for the better; progress in development
improvement
improvements
on
Suggestion
in
of
 public health. Indeed,
poor
Suggestion
poor environment conditions
a poor environment condition
environment
 condition
such
 as polluted air, poor hygiene and dirty water will make people sick.
For example
, in
urban area
Suggestion
urban areas
an urban area
the urban area
 due to cars and
maufactoring
the act of making something (a product) from raw materials
manufacturing
 sector the bad air quality has been a problem bothering lots of countries. As
this
 will make people suffer from respiratory ailments and will become a burden in the long term. While in rural area, people
can not
can not
cannot
 afford clean water and
unhygine
environment
 will breed lots of mosquitoes
such
 as malaria has been a serious disease in developing countries.
Nevertheless
, when government
reduce
Suggestion
reduces
environment
Suggestion
environmental
 pollution and housing problems, illness and disease will still occur. Spread of disease around the
global
Suggestion
globe
 will still occur when government did not pay attention on improving public health and
medicical
relating to the study or practice of medicine
medical
.
Submitted by melody su on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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