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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that robots are very important to humans’ future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although
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 quite a few people criticize
this
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 view, citing that adverse impacts of automation are inexorable for humankind, others claim that they play an essential role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future progression. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the discussion predicated on these aspects;
however
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, the benefits of
robots
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 outweigh the drawbacks in terms of accuracy and efficiency. On the one hand, the proliferation of
robots
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 holds detriments in terms of the unemployment rate.
In other words
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, these machines substitute humans in specific workplaces, thereby creating dominance over people and reducing the workforce. To illustrate, robot’s speed and consistency enable them to outperform
the
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apply
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workers in manual jobs, including surgery, delivery and so on.
As a result
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, companies tend to gain much profit by hiring
robots
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. A prime example of
this
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 is that it is because Coca-Cola commences to utilize robotic machines
instead
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 of manual labour that the unemployment rate in
this
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 company
experiences
Wrong verb form
has experienced
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 a significant increase in recent years. Considering
this
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 cardinal factor, the repercussions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automation cannot be overlooked. On the one hand, accuracy and efficiency are the most crucial advantages of the
robots
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.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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 is no doubt that a plethora of workers can be irritated by doing repetitive tasks, which leads to costly errors.
However
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,
robots
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 are capable of enforcing
this
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 kind of
chores
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chore
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 precisely and accurately without any maintenance.
In addition
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, not only do androids work accurately, but they
also
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 work efficiently by saving time and averting human injuries and deaths in various situations.
For instance
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, only when
robots
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 are sent to explore and scrutinize the tight and impassable jungles of the Amazon, would it be possible to garner a plethora of valuable information about
this
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 territory.
Thus
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, no matter how many individuals
opposes
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oppose
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this
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 view; their advantages are undeniably beneficial for the public in no uncertain terms.
To conclude
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,
this
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 ongoing debate has been discussed from two divergent standpoints. To my mind,
although
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 the advent of
robots
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 has several disadvantages, I strongly believe that their benefits are greater.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly states your main opinion and outlines your essay structure.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of robots.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied and shows a good attempt to use complex ideas.
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