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Band 5.5

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy.

#promoters #media #people #critics #site #impinges #one’s #privacy
Although
 social media has brought the world to our
finger tips
the end (tip) of a finger
fingertips
 and global
connectivity
 has improved drastically in terms of data sharing, still there exists a threat of
privacy
 which needs to be dealt with. I completely agree to the fact that social media has improved
connectivity
 and data sharing.
This
 essay
firstly
 will talk about the benefits of social
media
Accept comma addition
media, then
then
 issues related to
privacy
 will be discussed.
To begin
 with, social media
has paved
Suggestion
have paved
 the way to global
connectivity
 since its arrival because of which communication with people across nations has eased. Not only people can make new friends on various social platforms but can introspect based on factors like hobbies, likes and dislikes.
For instance
, I have made quite a new friend across the world using a social media app called Instagram.
Also it
Accept comma addition
Also, it
 is observed that people are able to share photos and videos easily using apps like WhatsApp, ShareIt to name a few, with improvement in standard of quality as well.
On the other hand
, data security has been a major concern and even-though people are sharing confidential data over social platforms, it has to stop to prevent
privacy
. It’s advised that if classified data needs to be shared, they
should be send
Suggestion
should send
should be sent
 through encrypted and secured pathway so that it cannot be hacked.
For example
, while sending important data like bank account numbers and passwords, we should be
shrewd judge
Suggestion
a shrewd judge
 of
consequences
Suggestion
the consequences
 which might follow afterwards. To conclude, I would like to say that even-though social media has its benefit like easy access,
connectivity
 and sharing of data, factor like
privacy
 needs to
looked
Suggestion
look
 at and act
accordingly
.
Submitted by Bikash Dutta on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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