Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantage ?

#home #hands #machines

Many people believe that considerable amount of work that used to be performed manually are now being replaced by machines.

However

, I think

this

increases dependency and has brought more negative impact than positive.

To begin

with, Because of technological

advancement our

Suggestion

advancement, our

life has become very easy.

As a result

, it has helped to improve businesses, economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities.

Furthermore

, health sectors

has

Suggestion

have also bloomed

also

bloomed. Not only

this it

Accept comma addition

this, it

has made communication and travel very reliable.

Although

the development of machines has many advantages, I

however

feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages.

Firstly

, our dependency on machines has increased significantly. Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.

For instance

, in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner, dishwasher or washing machines.

Thus

, people were physically

healthy

Suggestion

healthier

than the present generation.

Secondly

, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.

As a result

, many job opportunities are decreasing.

Furthermore

, when machine dominates, only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment.

Thus

this

degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family

Accept space

This

will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society.

For example

, in many developing countries like India, crime rates

has increased

Suggestion

have increased

significantly because of lack of employment.

Thus

to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but

also

creates disharmony and disparity in the society.

Submitted by Suvani baral on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantage ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, there is shortage of housing due to growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the country side, others argue for the regeneration of cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of building new towns in the country?

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?