IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many individuals think that fixed punishment for all major crimes is more effective . What are the advantages and disadvantages of having fixed punishment ?

#individuals #punishment #crimes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals think that
fixed
Suggestion
the fixed punishment
punishment
Use synonyms
 for all major and minor crimes is more effective.
However
Linking Words
, it has its own merits and demerits which I am going to explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates are escalating in an alarming manner. Lack of awareness, education and poverty are the paramount reasons.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to decrease
crime
Use synonyms
rate many people
Suggestion
rate, many people
 believe that there should be fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
. It not only simplifies the verdict of judicial
court but
Accept comma addition
court, but
 makes the criminal more aware before committing crimes because of the severity of the
punishment
Use synonyms
 one has to face.
This
Linking Words
 deters them from criminal activities.
For example
Linking Words
, according to
Saudi government
Suggestion
the Saudi government
, the death penalty is sentenced to
criminal
Suggestion
a criminal
 who commits rape.
This
Linking Words
 de-escalated no of criminals from the society.
Although
Linking Words
 fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
 may help to eradicate
crime
Use synonyms
 there are many
downside
Suggestion
downsides
 of
this
Linking Words
. Many people believe that
this
Linking Words
 is completely inhumane to our egalitarian society.
Penalty
Suggestion
The penalty
A penalty
 should be served to the convict based on
nature
Suggestion
the nature
 and severity of
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime
. It is
also
Linking Words
 important to know about the circumstances under which a
crime
Use synonyms
 was committed. Juvenile delinquents should be given
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 for
redemption so
Accept comma addition
redemption, so
 that they can reintegrate back
in
Suggestion
into
 the society.
Fair trial
Suggestion
A fair trial
 is
neccessary
absolutely essential
necessary
 before reaching final verdict.
For example
Linking Words
, when a
teeneger
a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity
teenager
 commits minor
crime
Use synonyms
 like
shoplifting he
Accept comma addition
shoplifting, he
 should be given a
second
Linking Words
 chance and warned not to do same in the future
instead
Linking Words
 of giving any sort of fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
.  
Thus
Linking Words
 to conclude,
although
Linking Words
fixed penalty
Suggestion
the fixed penalty
a fixed penalty
 could be a better way to eliminate
crime
Use synonyms
 to some extend,
Linking Words
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
 is not fair as its disadvantages outweigh its advantage.
Submitted by Suvani baral on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: