IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Inspire of the advances made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#advances #agriculture #people #world #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Despite the fact that there is increase in agricultural development
,
Accept space
,
a lot of people globally and still hungry.
This
 is due to insecurity and
humans
Suggestion
human
 activity like
felling
Suggestion
the felling
 of trees that adversely affect the ecosystem.
However
, there are solutions to
this
. With the rise in social insecurity
,
Accept space
,
farmers are unable to tend to their crops for fear that they will be killed or or their women raped.
This
 they are unable to utilise the planting season.
This
 will adversely affect their harvest and reduce the amount of produce available to the populace.
For example
, the activities of the
fulani
Suggestion
Fulani
 herdsmen in the northern part of Nigeria.
In addition
 to
this
, man's activity
such
 as deforestation in order to utilise trees for timber predisposes the land to erosion and flooding.
This
 will lead to a reduction in the amount of viable land for agricultural purposes and affect produce in the long run. As a solution to these problems
,
Accept space
,
there should be increased political will to ensure that the lives and properties of the citizens are secured.
This
 can be done by utilising the security forces to ensure that the activities of the
fulani
Suggestion
Fulani
 herdsmen are eradicated.
Furthermore
, people should be encouraged to plant trees in order to replace the ones fell and offenders should be prosecuted. Example is the go green initiative where individuals are motivated to plant trees and crops. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
although
 the number of hungry people globally is a problem which could be due to political unrest and
desertification
,
Accept space
,
it can be controlled by enhanced security and planting trees to improve agricultural
produce
Suggestion
productivity
.
Submitted by Obianuju on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: