IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people move to other country. why this is happening.give reasons

#people #move #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People migrating from one country to another is a topic of great significance in modern society. Individuals may move for a variety of reasons
such
Linking Words
 as better employment prospects, to escape civil unrest and to be closer to family, amongst others. In my opinion, there are a myriad of reasons which contribute to
this
Linking Words
 phenomena.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people may decide to migrate to apply for job opportunities abroad. It is possible that in their home country, the economy is stagnant and
as a result
Linking Words
, jobs are scarce and unemployment rates are high.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in an attempt to earn a living, they may decide to apply for jobs in other countries.
However
Linking Words
, one disadvantage is that competition for jobs in foreign countries may be fierce.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people may choose to move because there are wars taking place in their country.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many wars taking place across the Middle East.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted in many civilians fleeing their homes and seeking asylum in other countries. Many people have done
this
Linking Words
, in order to escape the brutality and to experience a safer way of life. Another reason is that people may have family members in other countries and they may wish to join them.
For instance
Linking Words
, many children have migrated abroad to seek
further
Linking Words
 education and jobs, while their parents remained back home.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the children may feel lonely without the support of their parents and they will try to help them migrate. One drawback is that there is a lot of paperwork to complete, making it a time consuming process. To conclude, it is evident that there are many reasons as to why people decide to live in other countries.
Although
Linking Words
 it is not a straight forward process, steps must be taken to facilitate the process of migration for many people around the world.
Submitted by farez sayfoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: