It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

As the transportation mode advances day by day, researchers and travellers are now able to trip to remote
areas
,
such
as the South Pole. I believe the benefits of
this
advancement exceed the drawbacks. In forthcoming paragraphs, I shall talk about the advantages and the disadvantages and
also
put forth my thoughts on
this
topic. Since previously the South Pole has never been touched for tourism, environmentalists believe that
this
activity may harm the
areas
. Pollution and noise from the ships will interfere with wildlife there.
However
, I believe
this
risk is actually manageable and can be reduced through controlling activities,
such
as trip limitations per day.
In addition
, there is a risk of extreme weather. To prevent
this
, the tourist provider should take weather forecasts into consideration when making a tour schedule.
On the other hand
, there are new opportunities which come from
this
particular destination trip.
To begin
with, scientists have more access to unravel knowledge which is related to the South Pole,
such
as the magnetic field.
This
can be a huge invention in the physics world.
In addition
to the global warming issue, people around the world will have more visibility regarding the situation there, and
as a result
, we have more awareness of
this
issue. And
then
, a variety of actions can be planned in order to tackle the problem. To summarise, there are disadvantages of travelling to remote natural regions that are able to be controlled,
whereas
there are big impacts that can be obtained from
such
areas
.
Therefore
, the benefits of travelling to remote
areas
outweigh the drawbacks that may arise.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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Introduction/Conclusion Development
You need to make sure that your introduction and conclusion are both fully developed. The introduction should clearly address the topic and set the direction for the essay, while the conclusion must effectively summarize the points made and restate your position clearly. Both seemed quite brief and underdeveloped in this instance.
Transitions and Linking Words
While your essay had a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
Idea Development and Support
You addressed the task, but the response could be more fully developed. Ensure that your main ideas are expanded with detailed support and examples. This will improve task response by making your argument stronger and more persuasive.

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