Some say that music is as important as other subjects in schools, especially at the preschool level. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

As co-curricular activities play a vital role in schools and universities nowadays, it has been suggested that
music
should be considered as a subject in academic.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
music
and other cultural activities are necessary for the children, I tend not to appoint that
music
is an important subject as other subjects
such
as mathematics science and languages. From the cultural standpoint, learning of
music
help students to win in
cultural competition
Suggestion
a cultural competition
such
as arts in the schools. In detail, most of the students learn
music
to participate in competitions and to win prizes.
In addition
, the
music
helps to relax the students from the stress, which is basically related to the prolonged sitting in front of the books. To elucidate,
continuous class section
Suggestion
the continuous class section
gets the student stressed and bored, so the musical classes help them to get out of pressure felt by the classes.
Moreover
, by arranging the musical classes from the preschool onwards gives the opportunity to build a career in that area for the people those who have a taste in
this
field.
On the other hand
, if the students have no skills in the musical area, they suffered a lot to cope with the children those who have
affinity
Suggestion
an affinity
to
music
. On the other words,
this
is a cliche for the students who have no taste the
music
or arts.
Furthermore
,
music
does not provide a better job in the future as the other subjects. To clarify, the subjects
such
as science and languages give a better career after the completion of the
course whereas
Accept comma addition
course, whereas
the
music
give
job
Suggestion
jobs
a job
the job
or satisfaction to the students those who are performing best. As well as the
music
never of a
good
Suggestion
better
future or carrier, so it is not a compulsory one in the schools. According to the above mentioned reasons, it is better to conclude that
music
should be kept as an optional one in the schools, so that the pupils who have
interest
Suggestion
an interest
in
this
field can utilize
this
opportunity.
Submitted by achu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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