IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that people are naturally born as leaders while others feel that leadership skills can develop.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #people #leaders #leadership #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
 argue that leadership abilities are inherent,
while
 others contend that life experiences can improve certain
skills
 in individuals.There is an opinion that
people
 are naturally born as leaders inherit some
skills
 or qualities genetically from their ancestors,
whereas
 others try to develop some
skills
 by focusing on them. On the one hand, with strong genes, some qualities and
skills
 tend to be passed down from generation to generation. Scientifically proven, that some children get 40%-50% of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 talent from their parents. If the parents are the leaders, unavoidably their children would become leaders in the future thanks to inheritance and good genetics.
For example
, as the president of
Kazakhstan
Add a comma
Kazakhstan,
show examples
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Tokayev is a
leader
 and his children take high positions as well.
On the other hand
, other
people
 say that leadership
skills
 can be developed in intensive practice without inborn qualities. They can put themselves in a fast-track scheme to develop abilities
such
 as communication
skills
 or critical thinking,
consequently
 gaining a new skill that they can apply.
Furthermore
, there are more and more soft-skill and hard-skill courses online from around the world about becoming a
leader
.
For instance
, many companies organize workshops to make their workers
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
. In my opinion, any skill can be mastered by putting
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
little effort. So I think, if
people
 concentrate on their desired
skills
, they may be the best at it. In conclusion,
while
 some traits like intelligence or
articism
Correct your spelling
criticism
 might be passed down through genes, becoming a good
leader
 doesn't just depend on what you're born with. It's more about practice and learning over time.
Submitted by burtebaeva02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement that reflects your opinion early in the essay to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balanced discussion on both views before stating your opinion to ensure a comprehensive coverage of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay and connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Effective introduction of both perspectives on leadership abilities.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion ties back to the introduction, reinforcing your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Clear paragraph structure makes your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: