IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that historical buildings should be knocked down while others say that they should be preserved. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has been told by a few
people
Use synonyms
 that old heritage buildings should be demolished because of the public safety issues and economic benefits for a
country
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 I believe that old buildings should be saved as these are historically important for the society and tax revenue of a
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides. Let's begin with why some
people
Use synonyms
 think these should be knocked down. Safety can be the biggest concern if these types of
building
Replace the word
buildings
show examples
standing
Wrong verb form
stand
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 tall. These are
centuries old
Add a hyphen
centuries-old
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 architectures and can fall anytime;
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
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 many
people
Use synonyms
 could die underneath
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
them
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, so it
should
Verb problem
would
show examples
 be wise if they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 be demolished.
For example
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 year, in India, 100
people
Use synonyms
 died
due to
Linking Words
 an old building
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
 down.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can get jobs if something new
such
Linking Words
 as a shopping mall can be built at the place
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
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 new mall can have 100
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shops and
people
Use synonyms
 can get their business and thousands of jobs can be created for
this
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe these buildings should be preserved.
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
 can get to know their history with the help of these. As these were built by their ancestors,
people
Use synonyms
 can feel
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 connection with them or can remember them with these.
Secondly
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, a government can generate tourism from these. Needless to say, how important and beneficial the tourism industry is for a
country
Use synonyms
. Many foreigners come to see and a
country
Use synonyms
 can generate revenue from
this
Linking Words
. To illustrate,
last
Linking Words
 year, U.P, a state in India, generated 10 million rupees only from a building, named as Taj Mahal, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revenue.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 a few
people
Use synonyms
 think that old architecture should be demolished
due to
Linking Words
 safety issues and business benefits, I believe these should be saved as these are the only way for
people
Use synonyms
 to connect with their past and tourism benefits for a nation.

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task achievement
Ensure a clearer distinction between both viewpoints in your introduction and conclusion to enhance task response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structure to increase engagement and enhance coherence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and elaboration to support your points more robustly, particularly on the economic side.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument effectively and presented a clear opinion, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your points related to historical significance and tourism benefits were compelling and relevant, adding depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Historical edifice
  • Cultural legacy
  • Architectural marvel
  • Preservationist
  • Urban landscape
  • Economic revitalization
  • Tourist hub
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Cultural fabric
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Civic identity
  • Preservation criteria
  • Structural integrity
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