There are more new towns nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #individuals #time

Many countries are increasing their development rapidly nowadays. The significance of people's entertainment and their leisure

time

become a more debatable issue. I totally agree with the notion that building more public parks and sports facilities

Suggestion

for

the purpose of people spending their spare

time

. By constructing public parks or sports

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

centre

in urban areas, both adults and

childrens

a young person of either sex

children

can be

benefit

Suggestion

beneficial

benefited

benefitted

. With sports

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

centre

, people can be encouraged to improve their health by doing exercises.

In addition

, less injured will happened due to the professional employees there. People may learn how to play sports in an accurate position,

therefore

accidents can be avoided.

Furthermore

, individuals can make the best use of their

time

instead

of staying home or being couch potatoes all day, they may develop their interests during exercising. It is shown that a few construction can make

such

numerous changes for

citizens

Suggestion

the citizens

However

, some people may argue that constructing more parks or sports facilities will increase the financial burden on

taxepayers

someone who pays taxes

taxpayers

. Because of more public facilities are constructed, citizens may have to spend more money on the access of using it. From my perspective, these issues can be tackled, if it is available on weekends without any

further

payment. So that parents can have

Suggestion

enjoyable

time

with their children.

Moreover

, public facilities can create

jobs

Suggestion

job

opportunities.

In other words

, the whole society will be

benefit

Suggestion

beneficial

benefitted

. To sum up, it is clear that these advantages outweigh the drawbacks of including more public facilities. I am convinced with the points of view that people can be

benefit

Suggestion

benefited

with more parks and sports

center

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

Submitted by 王酋淳 on Mon Jul 27 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are more new towns nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.