IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree.

#children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum
Sports instills a positivity in one’s life. Sedentary lifestyle can cause several health hazards.
Thus
, encouraging kids for a rigorous workout during their developmental years is integral to being physically fit. Few opine that the schools should only focus on the academics while the parents should take care of all the physical activities of the youth.
However
, keeping in mind the benefits of physical training, I opine a collaborative effort of both the seniors and the educational institutions is appreciable. We cannot deny the fact that kids follow their parents.
Thus
, its parents' responsibility to guide the kids in favour of the physical activities during the initial years of their lives. They can encourage them to meditate or do yoga along with them. To illustrate, my mother used to take me to the park in the evening to play with my friends, which was leisure for me but a great source of activity.
However
, later on students spend a major time of the day in the school.
Hence
, teachers should promote extracurricular activities amongst the learners to ameliorate their stamina and be fit. Nowadays, schools aim at the overall personality development of the children.
Consequently
, physical education is a mandatory subject in maximum number of institutions.
This
 conspicuous trend has myriad advantages for students who are average in studies but play passionately.
Moreover
,
this
 help them to realise their inner strengths and qualities.
Subsequently
,
such
 students pursue sports as their career.
Additionally
, valuable lessons like teamwork and to be empathetic towards others are learning from engaging in
such
 acts.
Hence
, its exclusion from the regular syllabus is quite questionable. To conclude, the importance of being fit is undeniable, thereby it is a collective duty of both care takers and the educators to promote the physical games amongst the juveniles.
Submitted by Shreta Sachdeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: