80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #beleive #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #kinds #jobs

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Some say that females should have the same role as males in a nation’s

police

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for or military

force

Use synonyms

while

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others would argue that

women

Use synonyms

cannot carry out these kinds of jobs.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that

although

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women

Use synonyms

are not as strong as

men

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, both genders should have the same opportunities. On the one hand, some believe that females must not be given equal opportunity to

work

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in the

police

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or military

force

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This

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is because

women

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have fewer physical abilities than

men

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since they are less capable of achieving their goals in these kinds of jobs.

Also

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, in

this

Linking Words

type of

work

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, the individual needs to be able to fight against criminals, prisoners and dangerous people, which individuals can get hurt or accidents.

For example

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, in China,

police

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are one of the jobs with the highest death rates, since if they are caught by the enemies they are tortured to death.

However

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, I believe that as long as people have done enough physical exercise and practice, there is no difference between genders.

On the other hand

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women

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are better at critical thinking, and

this

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can help in many situations, since working in the

police

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and military

force

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, not only requires the person to be physically fit, but

also

Linking Words

to know how to solve problems causing less damage possible, and since

women

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are more careful and pay more attention to details, they are able to find evidences and things that the

men

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can’t. Recent research concluded, that

men

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are more carefree

while

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women

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are more attentive to little changes or differences. In my opinion, both genders should have the same opportunities to

work

Use synonyms

in the

police

Use synonyms

or military, since

women

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are more In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

males have better physical ability,

women

Use synonyms

are better at critical thinking, and

that is

Linking Words

why, in my opinion,

women

Use synonyms

and

men

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should have the same opportunities to

work

Use synonyms

in the

police

Use synonyms

and military

force

Use synonyms

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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supported main points

It is integral that you fully develop your main points with specific examples and evidence. The essay references some generalities but fails to provide concrete, illustrative examples to support arguments.

task achievement

Ensure that you present a balanced discussion of both views. The essay tends to favor one viewpoint, leading to a potential bias in the discussion. To achieve a higher band, you could explore both perspectives equally before presenting your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

The flow of your essay can benefit from more varied and nuanced transition phrases that guide the reader through your arguments more clearly. This will enhance the overall coherence and logic of your text.

introduction conclusion present

Providing a more accurately detailed conclusion which neatly summarizes the main points and restates your opinion will greatly strengthen your essay's impact.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

Some think that teaching children at home is more benefical for their development, while other say they should go to school.discuss the advantages of both views and give your presonal opinion

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays more and more people are using media like TV or online platforms to read news instead of reading newspapers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people live with their parents and siblings until their old age. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this behaviour? Discuss your opinion and provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.