IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
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Some people hold that earning more
money
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 with less free
time
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 is much better than the opposite. At some point I agree with
this
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 idea,
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however I
Accept comma addition
however, I
also
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 believe that having more
money
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 does not mean anything if ones have no
time
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 to spend it. On the one hand, in our globalized world nowadays being financially stable plays an important role to lead a fulfilled
life
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.
Firstly
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, there are some people who believe and even spread the idea that
money
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 is not an important thing in
life
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,
moreover
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 everyone can be happy with less
money
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.
However
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, having enough
money
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 would help to enjoy spare
time
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 even more. Financial problems bring about depression, tension and anxiety which can turn out to be major issues, and certainly reduce the chance of having fun.
Secondly
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, maybe not for all of the leisure
activities but
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activities, but
 for
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of them a respective amount of
money
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 is required.
Therefore
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, having a lot of free
time
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 with little
money
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 cannot make anyone to be truly happy.
On the other hand
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, working all day and night, not being socially active and isolated from the outside world will certainly have numberless detrimental effects
on
Suggestion
of
 people`s lifestyle.
First
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 of all, spending a great amount of
time
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 behind the desk and leading a sedentary
life
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 will affect both mental and physical health. Having a hobby, spending some spare
time
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 while hanging out with friends or relaxing with family might help to cover
this
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 problem. Earning enough
money
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 is not sufficient if it cannot be
spend
Suggestion
spent
 to make
life
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 more meaningful. In conclusion, earning a good amount of
money
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 is important if there will be some leisure
time
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 to enjoy and refresh. The combination of both will allow ones to enjoy their spare
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Ayshan on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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