Some people believed that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientists

Most of the individuals considered

Accept space

that

entertainment industry

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

has more importance, rather than explorers.

However

, I believe that both have their own value.

Firstly

, the entertainment industry has a huge impact on the lives of some people. It plays a vital role in shaping the personality of

few humans

Suggestion

a few humans

, through fiction stories,

art movies

Accept comma addition

art, movies

, non-fiction films, life history of various celebrities. The nature of

job

Suggestion

jobs

media

Suggestion

the media

is to entertain people, as

now a days

the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech

nowadays

we are living in the world full of sorrow where we have enormous difficulties.

On the other hand

, scientists explore and research on the various facts,

such

as life of flora and fauna, space exploration, and the discovery of minerals under the land. They present their theories based on the experimentation. Whereas, some of them predict the life of our future.

For example

, recently, the

space ship

a spacecraft designed to carry a crew into interstellar space (especially in science fiction)

spaceship

has been sent

Suggestion

the planet Mars to study if the living creatures will be able to survive in the future. Scientists have been immensely working hard, to save our planet Earth. In

this

case, there are several science fiction films, as well as documentaries, which have been shown by the social media.

Such

programs are

on aired on the

Suggestion

aired on the

television, which have a huge impact on our younger generation. To conclude, both are essential in order to reshape our present lives. As the celebrities have an enlarge influence on the people

specially

to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common

especially

adolescents. We are living in the era of technology, which has a crucial role in rebuilding, and shaping up our lifestyle.

Therefore

, we

can not

cannot

say that researchers are

overweigh

usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it

overweight

. Whereas, scientific researchers are

also

important to explore, and to give us the knowledge about certain facts.

Submitted by Deema on Mon Jul 27 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believed that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professional workers such as Doctors and Teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent Do you Agree or Disagree? TASK 2

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