IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Children are engaged in different kind of paid work. Many of people consider it inappropriate and many of people consider it inappropriate and many think it as a learning experience for taking responsibility? Give your opinions and views on this statement?

Nowadays
child
Use synonyms
 labour Is the biggest concern to think, especially in poor countries. Some sets of people argue that it is unfair to them while, other sets of group have opined that it is a learning experience for taking accountability. I believe strongly that
child
Use synonyms
's exertion is not good.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, In developing countries, people are economically weak and they have no option. They have to send their children to do paid work. To give a clear example, In one lower class family if there are more numbers of family members. And one of them is facing severe illness and only one man is working as a servant with minimal pay. In
this
Linking Words
 situation they have to send his baby for slavery. To conclude,
this
Linking Words
 type of families believes that working in childhood makes their baby experienced and will be beneficial in the future.
However
Linking Words
, any other middle class and higher class society think that
child
Use synonyms
 labour is a crime. Government of many countries considers
this
Linking Words
 as a crime. Now that, it is crucial to save the rights of children. To illustrate, Suppose in the small age, they start working, they have to leave their education.
Linking Words
Thus they
Accept comma addition
Thus, they
 cannot develop. They can not be able to get reputed job in future.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 effect on the development of the nation.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Child
Use synonyms
 education is necessary for the improvement of themselves as well as for their countries. In conclusion,
Child
Use synonyms
-labour is harmful to children's education and mental development of them.
However
Linking Words
, the number of people argue that it is a helpful experience of taking responsibilities while others deny
this
Linking Words
 position. I emphasize my opinion that
child
Use synonyms
 labour is unjust.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: