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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is said that music is important for bringing people together from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

#music #people #cultures #ages
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Although
Linking Words
 it is believed
music
Use synonyms
 causes affection and sharing bonds, in many
situations struggles
Accept comma addition
situations, struggles
 are as
main results
Suggestion
the main results
 of differences between
musical tastes
Suggestion
the musical tastes
 of age groups and cultural beliefs.
First
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 of all, it has always been asserted by a handful of elders, nowadays the extraordinary pieces of rock
music
Use synonyms
 are released much more than traditional ones. They are fans of easy listening and catchy tunes due to the kind of melody used in traditional
Use synonyms
music
Accept comma addition
music, although
although
Linking Words
 most of the times youth people are fond of rock or metal, because of drum and bass. As teenagers are recommended by
adults not
Accept comma addition
adults, not
 to listen to harsh
music
Use synonyms
, they might prefer not to spend time with parents and adults in order to hear what they would rather. Another issue worth discussing is the combination of events and cultural accidents in
lyrics
Suggestion
the lyrics
. It is a great idea to compose a song for cultural consciousness-rising even though it may seem
insultation
Suggestion
 to a group of people. In
music
Use synonyms
 videos,
for instance
Linking Words
, a handful of scenes can be shown and be trended provided that no racism or violence exist in.
there
Suggestion
There
 always have been talented and trained musicians who constantly had to deal with viewers’ strife because of utilizing a cultural story in their video and inevitably it could have not been omitted. In short,
music
Use synonyms
 does not have a serious role in making people closer to each other
as a result
Linking Words
 of the composition of
lyrics
Suggestion
the lyrics
 and cultural events.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people in different generations have different tastes of
music
Use synonyms
 and do not come along with each other.
Submitted by nooshin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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