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Band 6.5

Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

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Nowadays, many companies tend to provide employees with daytime exercise scheme, which is usually before working or in the middle of work-time. From my perspective, I totally believe that
this
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 is a positive development, which brings about benefits for both employees and the
company
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 itself. It is undeniable that people who take exercises in a regular basis, in some extent, have a better
health
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, both mental and physical. By organizing exercise time during the day, almost employees can avoid suffering from
health
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 deteriorates, from extremely tired, headache or even fever, after sitting in front of the computer for a long period.
As a result
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, the
company
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 may hopefully achieve a greater budget and become more and more prestigious thank to the effective staff.
Besides
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, workers who are in good condition usually have a better attitude to their works, which is really necessary, especially employees who work in customer service. Another reason is that companies are trying to recruit good employees from their opponent companies by offering employees with a handsome salary and higher position.
In other words
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, it is important for companies to keep their employees. By carrying out an exercise scheme, the
company
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 will have more loyal employees because people generally want to attach to a
company
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 which really care for their
health
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.
Moreover
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, the
company
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 with better
health
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 care policies
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also attract
Suggestion
also attracts
has also attracted
is also attracting
 skilled workers from other companies, resulting in an incredible development of the
company
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. To sum up, I firmly believe that companies should allocate time for employees to take exercises during the day. A
company
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 whose workers are loyal and healthy is more likely to attain success in the long run.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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