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Band 5

it is important to give children the opportunity to make decisions from an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #opportunity #decisions #age
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It is considered that giving children to make their own decisions is very essential from a young age. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 expression because
this
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 opportunity may lead to bad consequences in their life way and disrespectful relationships for their parents and elders.
Firstly
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, it is well known that providing opportunities
to
Suggestion
for
 children is considered the best way to support them. Giving them the opportunity to make their own decisions is usually not an appropriate action for them, because it can lead to bad consequences,
such
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 as selfishness, alcoholism, drug use, committing crimes, and others.
if
Suggestion
If
 parents don't pay attention to them, they can expect anything from them.
Linking Words
Moreover parents
Accept comma addition
Moreover, parents
 should be aware of the zone of friends with whom their children keep in touch because their friends may affect their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 and forcing him to make violence, commit crime or being alcoholic, using
drug
Suggestion
drugs
.
Linking Words
Therefore poor
Accept comma addition
Therefore, poor
 decisions with immature
worldview
Suggestion
 can be
damage
Suggestion
damaging
damaged
 for children's future.
Secondly
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, independence in making personal decisions is harmful for children, because there may be a sense of selfishness in communicating with parents and friends. If someone has achieved success alone, they don't really have enough respect for their parents or elders.
This
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 type of person believes that they don't need anyone's help. In
this
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 way, they can harm society.
Moreover
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, if they have to go through difficult life ways, they do not receive the right support and helpful.
Therefore
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, parents should provide clear guidance that supports children when they are at an early age. I completely disagree with the fact that he is given the opportunity to make a personal decision at a young age, as I mentioned, there can be a lot of problems with life paths, and he makes a lot of mistakes, and is stuck in a zone between bad friends, and they can influence him to commit a crime, break the law, even will be alcoholics and using drug.
Linking Words
Therefore children
Accept comma addition
Therefore, children
 should express their own
opinion but
Accept comma addition
opinion, but
 final conclusion have to make parents.
Submitted by Laziz Janikulov on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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