IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Nowadays, it can be seen that the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 going for organic
food
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
. There are several advantages and positive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life. Many are still not
attracting
Wrong verb form
attracted
show examples
 towards
such
Linking Words
 beneficial development. Ways to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others and specific reasons behind choosing
such
Linking Words
lifestyle
Correct article usage
a lifestyle
show examples
 will be explained in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Many people are becoming
Use synonyms
health conscious
Use the right word
health-conscious
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are adding healthy foods to their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
along with
Linking Words
 regular exercise.
That is
Linking Words
 benefiting them in physical and mental
health
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 busy life, hardly individuals are getting time for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper sleep, which leads them to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental and physical
health
Use synonyms
 issues. Healthy
food
Use synonyms
 boosts the immune system and provides essentials to the body like proteins
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and vitamins
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
, by doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise
regularly
Punctuation problem
regularly,
show examples
 one can get better sleep, which is good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
health
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority still
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
attract
Verb problem
gravitate
show examples
 towards healthier
food
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
workout
Check wording
exercise
show examples
. The Government can run a campaign to
give
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 awareness about the benefits of daily
Use synonyms
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organic
Use synonyms
food
Punctuation problem
food,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can encourage them a lot. Other news sources and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 will be helpful in spreading the
words
Fix the agreement mistake
word
show examples
, where we can tell them about the drawbacks of choosing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 and not doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise.
For Example
Linking Words
, obesity is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 issue
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which
welcomes
Verb problem
leads
show examples
most
Change preposition
to most
show examples
 of the dangerous diseases.
To sum up
Linking Words
, People are choosing healthy organic
food
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 daily
workout
Use synonyms
 is a beneficial development
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the government should spread the awareness to encourage the rest.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give one or two clear reasons why people choose healthy food and exercise, with small, easy examples.
task response
Add a plan for how to get more people to do this, such as small actions they can take now.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences to make your ideas easy to see.
structure
Put the main ideas in order: idea, reason, example, action.
content
The goal is clear and the essay tries to discuss both parts of the prompt.
coherence
There are links like 'On the other hand' and 'To sum up' to guide the reader.
content
The topic is one you can talk about in a calm way.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: