while some people believe that government surveillance (such as closed circuit television and the use of speed cameras) is essential for individual to feel safe within a society, others feel it limits their freedom

#people #government #surveillance #circuit #television #cameras #society #limits #freedom

The

government

surveillance

is a well-known concept. Even kings and queens from every kingdom had a somebody who was in charge to keep everything going

smooth

Suggestion

smoothly

in their area.

For instance

, everybody had to pay money to the king, and they

did not be allow

Suggestion

didn't allow

did not allow

weren't allowing

were not allowing

were not allowed

weren't allowed

haven't allowed

to say a bad work against him.

On the other hand

, the king’s army was protecting people and whole kingdom. We can see

similar concept

Suggestion

a similar concept

similar concepts

in these days. We pay taxes to our

government

and our army keep a vigilance, our

government

provided

work opportunity

Suggestion

a work opportunity

the work opportunity

to us and we can get a health care if we need to. I inclined to think the

government

surveillance

is essential to feel safe within a society. Of course, somebody could feel that speed cameras limit their freedom, but I think it is for our own safety. Cameras are extremely useful tools for police investigations as well. I would like to mention another positive side of the

government

surveillance

. I am from

different country

Suggestion

a different country

, so I travel a lot and I am glad that the

government

Suggestion

does

such

a brilliant job on our airports to protect us. On the other

side I

Accept comma addition

side, I

can

also

agree with people who feel it limits their freedom. In my opinion, too much

government

surveillance

would be kind of scary sometimes. From my own experience, I was terribly upset when I was downloading one application to my phone and it asked me if I am giving a permission to give them access to my photos, camera, calls and messages. I learnt that the

government

could have a full access to our phones. In conclusion, follow the golden mean would the best solution. People could be happy for protection from our

government

, but they could not to let it be

to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits

too

close.

Submitted by Kristyna Jirkovska on Fri Jul 31 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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while some people believe that government surveillance (such as closed circuit television and the use of speed cameras) is essential for individual to feel safe within a society, others feel it limits their freedom

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?

Research indicates that children who start reading earlier in life perform better later on in their school studies. How important are early reading skills in a child's academic performance? What other preschool factors, in your opinion, influence a child's later academic achievements?

In the present day, social media plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness, while others argue it could negatively impact their behavior and attitudes

The restoration of an old building in major cities in the world cost numerous governments' expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree?