Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or agree?

In the contemporary world, a widespread use of electronic equipments for the entertainment purposes among the children, is becoming increasingly controversial.
Therefore
, it is generally said that encouraging them to play outdoor games, would prove beneficial.
This
essay agrees with the given information because of the several hazards associated with these modern gadgets,
such
as addiction and health related issues. To commence with, undeniably, our young generation relies heavily on the electrical devices for their enjoyment, but excessive use can make them addicted to these products.
Hence
, it is an excellent idea to divert them towards the physical activities, like participation in some sports, can enlighten their minds, and prevent them from being prone to these devices.According to a latest survey, in my state, foe example, it has been illustrated that those, who participate in the outdoor activities are 20 percent more active in accomplishing their goals than those who are passive players.To elucidate, games are an appropriate alternative to the use of computers for the school goers. Another vital factor is that these sources of entertainment do not involve active involvement of children,
as a result
, it promotes sedentary lifestyle.
However
, if parents motivate their wards to play sports,
for instance
, badminton, basketball, football, and many more, they will become energetic, and
in addition
, they will have a fit body.
Consequently
, it will prevent them from various health hassles,
such
as obesity, which have become ubiquitous these days.To cite an example, in the USA alone, about 25 percent of the school going students are suffering from the problem of unhealthy living. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that with the progress of the technological world, latest means of entertainment are widely available to the age group of 7-12 years, but by adopting alternate methods for the leisure purposes, society can regulate the amount of unhealthy conditions of the younger ones.
Submitted by kajalmaan.16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: