IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have a full time job and are also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue the course. Write a letter to your tutor. In your letter, describe the situation explain why you cannot continue at this time say what action you would like to take

#time #job #part #course #tutor #situation #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mr. Libson, I am writing you
this
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 letter to let you know that I cannot continue my part-time
course
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 because of have full-time work. In the current scenario, You must be aware that I have been working for
this
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company
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 for 2 years and they want me to relocate the city and move to Dubai to deal with the client. Unfortunately, I have agreed with the
company
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 and relocated to the new place so I won't able to continue my
course
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 in
such
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 period. Perhaps, I could talk to my manager to send another person to go there and meet the client, but, I already made the contract and signed it with the
company
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 so I can not change it as per the terms and conditions of the
company
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.
Finally
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, I came to decide that I would like to discontinue my
course
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 and regret to taking my decision to not accomplish
this
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 interesting
course
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. I hope you understand my circumstances. Yours sincerely, Hardik Mehta
Submitted by patelhardik2199 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you use connective words and phrases to link ideas together for better flow. The logical structure could be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of the situation and by using a paragraph to focus on your feelings and deeper implications of your action.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, you've communicated the main purpose for writing, but your letter would benefit from more details about the course and more precise reasons for your inability to continue. Additionally, explore alternative solutions or express regret and request understanding in a more elaborated and courteous manner to better match the writing tone expected in formal correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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