Some people believe that our personalities are predetermined by our genes and there is nothing we can do to change those traits. To what extent do you agree?

The effect of genetics on the human body can never be fully conceived by our minds. Genes play an essential role in determining our characteristics even before birth.
However
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, not all of these
traits
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are definite and can certainly be altered by individuals.
This
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essay will attempt to argue that these
traits
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can be changed during the course of our lives. Our personalities are influenced not only by genes, but
also
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by our environments and experiences in life. A child’s characteristics are shaped by
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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upbringing, as in
,
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apply
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being raised by
discipline
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disciplined
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parents helps them grow into more responsible adults.
On the other hand
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, children from broken families, who have suffered from emotional turmoil
in
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at
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their young age, tend to be more aggressive and easily susceptible to wrongful acts.
Furthermore
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, every individual is capable of changing qualities of themselves that they find unpleasant.
This
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is because people behave exactly the way they are taught to
,
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apply
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in childhood
and
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, and
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such
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attitudes can be altered by modifying our thoughts.
For instance
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, shy
,
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apply
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introverts can lead a more social life simply by spending time with other people with outgoing personalities. Yet, it is true that some
traits
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are imprinted in us when we are born.
For example
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, children of
well educated
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well-educated
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parents have a higher IQ than others from childhood. They can easily grasp information and retain facts in memory than when compared to others.
This
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example undeniably claims the role of genes in our abilities. In conclusion,
although
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genetic makeup has an immense influence, it is not the sole reason for the way our personalities are developed
and
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, and
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I firmly believe that our character
traits
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can be altered by our lifestyle choices.

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task response
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in every paragraph. Support your view with direct, linked ideas.
coherence
Improve links between ideas. Use linking words and make sure one paragraph leads to the next.
language
Check grammar and use simple words. Some phrases are a bit hard and some facts are not precise.
content
The essay shows a clear belief that genetics is not the only factor and that life and acts can change traits.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion, and the main idea is easy to see.
content
The writer uses examples to back ideas about how family life and social life can change traits.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • genes
  • traits
  • base
  • personality
  • influence
  • environment
  • family
  • friends
  • school
  • education
  • work
  • culture
  • practice
  • effort
  • habits
  • change
  • grow
  • learn
  • therapy
  • support
  • mind
  • feel
  • think
  • act
  • possible
  • difficult
  • time
  • experience
  • chance
  • choice
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