IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Study plays an essential role in the adolescent life. But some students have to do part-time work during their academic session.
Therefore
Linking Words
, learners spend less time on their course as well as they feel pressurized. There are several factors responsible for
this
Linking Words
 problem which I will explicate in the essay and suggest some ways forward. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is that few scholars are not having any support from their parents for studies.
Thus
Linking Words
, they have to effort somewhere to deposit fees. To cite an example, a large population of the India lives under the poverty line.
Therefore
Linking Words
, that families are not able to cover higher learning expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of the adolescent have lure to buy expensive gadgets which have direct influence on the habit of doing a part-time task during the study.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the trend of go to abroad for getting higher academic study
also
Linking Words
 increased the count of short term workers during education. The solutions are simple. All we need is the support of students from the authorities and citizens of the
country
Use synonyms
. The
first
Linking Words
 solution is that the students need to be aware about the importance of education.
Thus
Linking Words
, their mind does not incline towards making money so scholars can focus on their academics.
Moreover
Linking Words
, International students need to be supported by their home provincial officials.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a focus can be done to study rather than work that can lead to a betterment of the home nation.
For example
Linking Words
, In Canada, the international students from the Arab countries are getting financial aid from their home
country
Use synonyms
. I pen down by saying that the future of every
country
Use synonyms
 will be in the hand is of today scholars
therefore
Linking Words
 there is a need of support for students by the Governments and public of every
country
Use synonyms
 so they can focus on their training rather than work.
Submitted by Gagandeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: