Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative?

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These days, cutting-edge
technology
has changed the way of communication among people considerably. individuals have been given
this
chance to make new relationships and keep them alive through media which has stemmed from improving
technology
. In my opinion,
this
trend's upsides outweigh its downsides. In recent decades, there is no denying the fact that
technology
has been developing faster and it offers society numerous ways to contact each other conveniently and remotely from all over the world.
For instance
, with the explosion of social media folks can interact with their loved ones online by video chat or messages through the internet, they can utilize diverse websites and applications
such
as Instagram, Telegram, and Snapchat.
Therefore
,
technology
provides
this
opportunity for the whole world to strengthen their relationships.
Furthermore
, they can find a lot of new friends and even they can go on a date online.
However
,
besides
technology
's pros, it can influence our lives negatively. As individuals tend to communicate online the rate of face-to-face or physical interaction has become far less than before
this
development.
Thus
, it may cause each person to have a sense of loneliness.
Consequently
, it leads them to be depressed in the long term.
Moreover
, I think that friendship on social media isn't strong enough and they are bound to oblivion sooner or later.
As a result
, the online relationship can not be a beneficial alternative to eye-to-eye interaction. In conclusion,
it is clear that
this
kind of communication despite its benefits can be harmful to our mental health. So, people should balance between reaching out together through modern
technology
and traditional ways.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be expanded upon with evidence or examples that support your overall argument.
task achievement
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task achievement
While you've provided a number of ideas, strive for a clearer and more comprehensive exploration of how technology affects relationships. Use specific examples to support your points and to articulate your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. While some examples are present, they could be further elaborated upon to illustrate your points more vividly and to more directly answer the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Redefine
  • Interact
  • Networking
  • Convenience
  • Superficial
  • Collaboration
  • Support groups
  • Echo chamber
  • Remote working
  • Virtual teams
  • Addiction
  • Escapism
  • Maintain
  • Long distance
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