IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

#governments #world #amounts #money #art #quality #people’s #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To enhance the standard of people's lives, many authorities in the world, spending a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
art
Use synonyms
. Whereas, others suggest that if would be extremely good if they spend on other things like developing infrastructure rather than
art
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on useful things for the community would be recommended
instead
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the thesis statement by taking examples from newspapers and journals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
art
Suggestion
the art
 has a significant positive impact on people's well-being, and many governments across the globe investing huge amount on it. Arts like music and dance has brought a massive
change
Use synonyms
 in people's lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 is because
art
Use synonyms
 has the ability to
change
Use synonyms
 the emotions and brings positivity among people.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries like Japan, India, and China government officially organise an exhibition to show the public about the artists skills and honour them with prizes to encourage them. In fact, in 2017 the Indian government announced 5 million annually to teach different
art
Use synonyms
 skills for school children where they can develop cognitive skills.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 loving and understanding people throughout the world is limited, and governments spending huge amounts on
this
Linking Words
 is completely unfair. As a matter of fact, there are many essential things like developing parks and upgrading road systems which could be more beneficial to the country.
For example
Linking Words
, recently Japan
instead
Linking Words
 of the arts,
this
Linking Words
 time government allocated 2 million for developing essential things in the community.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
change
Use synonyms
 brought a drastic
change
Use synonyms
 in people's well-being, now they have good road and water facilities to every household in Japan. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
art
Use synonyms
 is an essential in our day to day life and governments should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on it.
However
Linking Words
, it should be very little,
this
Linking Words
 is because not everyone shows interest in arts and governments spending huge amounts is a waste of public's tax
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Instead they
Accept comma addition
Instead, they
 can develop essential things in the community.
Submitted by Jo Hn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: