IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think that a solution can be to increase the price of fattening food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #food
As obesity is still currently on the rise, people are more aware of the catastrophic effect it has on the public and are looking for measures to deal with. Many support the rise in the price of fast-
food
 is as a good solution. And I strongly agree with the statement and will provide some reasons below. In
this
 era, through the active trade movement in the world, the cheap foods are flooded on the street, and from protecting a saving perspective, people who are low-income opt to choose high-calorie foods.
For example
, with 10 dollars, a customer can buy a meal of a burger and a drink at McDonalds, but it only provides two types of vegetables which are lettuce and tomato.
For instance
, the study conducted by Tokyo University, said people need to absorb 350 glams of vegetables to maintain the body. So if people tend to choose McDonalds, people cannot keep their health due to a lack of amount of vegetables.
Hence
, for keeping in good condition of humankind, fast
food
 restaurants should raise the price of high calorie
food
 to give attention to healthy
food
.
Similarly
, since the price is always considered when shopping, inflated prices force people who enter the download spiral of obesity to eschew. If a greasy Chinese cost piles up than it is now, people tend to choose low-fat options.
This
also
 means the shift will prompt changes within the
food
 providers, small businesses, and large corporations, targeting psychology of the customers to transform the idea as a whole toward avoiding fattening
food
, and encouraging healthy
food
 selections. To conclude, I agree with tackling fatness by increasing the prices of unhealthy
food
. I believe that the future will see more healthy
food
 options being made cheaper and affordable than the unhealthy
food
.
Submitted by 室谷寛樹 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: