too much emphasis is given for education of students. more government should be spent on free time activities for young people. to what extent do agree or disagree?

#emphasis #education #students #government #time #activities #people

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In today’s rapidly changing world, students encounter a lot of pressure, especially in

education

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thus

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funds

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from the

government

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should be spent on their leisure activities is a topic of debate. Some argue more

government

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money should be allocated their finance to pupils’ free time activities. I firmly believe that prioritization by its necessity can greatly balance outcomes and achievements.

Firstly

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education

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encourages youngsters to achieve a better future. Many job vacancies require a high standard degree and added value for applicants.

Moreover

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, job seekers in a lot of countries have been increasing in recent years, in consequence, there will be more competition for graduated students to pursue their careers. By allocating

government

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funds

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education

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, pupils can focus on their studies with good facilities and programs, impacting the quality of graduated students.

Furthermore

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government

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money can be distributed their

funds

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to improve pupil’s soft skills.

For instance

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, giving them a lot of chances for student broad exchange and providing communication training will give advantages to adolescents to prepare themselves to face the world after finishing university. Some argue that pushing pupils with activities that are educational can be detrimental to mental issues. It is important to assist their psychology by providing psychiatrists in each university or people who are capable of tackling

this

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issue. With

this

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program, it can give benefits and balance

education

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to achieve the betterment of

education

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. In conclusion, distributing the

government

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’s

funds

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on educational programs offers undeniable advantages. Providing hard and soft skills will increase individual quality of life. As we move forward, governments

also

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should assist their youngsters, especially those with mental issues

therefore

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countries can develop the quality of their youngster’s life.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Oct 11 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Try to enhance the clarity of your ideas in each paragraph. Some arguments could be developed further to ensure they are comprehensive and persuasive.

relevant specific examples

Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable to the reader.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.

logical structure

The essay maintains a logical flow with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

complete response

You have covered multiple aspects of the issue, including the advantages of education funding and the importance of mental well-being.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

280 words

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too much emphasis is given for education of students. more government should be spent on free time activities for young people. to what extent do agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.