Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives

There is no doubt that the number of commercials

have been increasing

Suggestion

has been increasing

has increased

since the advent of the modern technologies. It is sometimes thought that these

adverts create

Accept comma addition

adverts, create

artificail

contrived by art rather than nature

artificial

artificially

needs among the customers, while others say that

this

would help them to know more about the latest products available in the market. I, personally, agree the latters' viewpoint because

this

serve

Suggestion

serves

the purpose of information.

First

and foremost point to consider here is that the business people can announce their products and services to the public by advertising the products. Eventually, more and more would aware about the item and

this

would increase their sales.

Additionally

this

would

assisst

give help or assistance; be of service

assist

them showcase

Suggestion

them to showcase

how their service different from their

rivalaries

the act of competing as for profit or a prize

rivalries

For instance

, Samsung mobile, they have commercialised their products through various means; sponsoring crickets, Tv adverts and placing billboard.

As a result

, they can earn people's trust,

this

is all possible only

throgh

from beginning to end

through

the adverts.

Secondly

, nowadays consumers do not have plenty of time to spend

for

Suggestion

searching for an

items

Suggestion

item

Therefore

, reading a brochure or catalogue would reduce the shopping time and

this

time they can spend with their family.

Similarly

this

offers the best bargains in the market and people can find cheap and affordable things, for every pocket.

As a result

, they can choose the best available items without

waisting

any general reduction in vitality and strength of body and mind resulting from a debilitating chronic disease

wasting

waiting

hours and hours in

queue

Suggestion

the queue

queues

For instance

, Mobile phones, each

cells

Suggestion

cell

has manufactured

Suggestion

have manufactured

with

different intention

Suggestion

different intentions

a different intention

, which means some for clicking pictures, watching movies

Accept space

or playing games. The

avertisement

a public promotion of some product or service

usually explains positives and

intention

Suggestion

the intention

this products

Suggestion

this product

these products

Therefore

, commercials are back bone of sales and purchase any newly

lauched

set up or found

launched

material. In conclusion, while some argue that adverts mislead the consumers, others think that

this

would help them to learn about products in the markets, and, I, support

this

later

referring to the second of two things or persons mentioned (or the last one or ones of several)

latter

view.

Submitted by Sal on Wed Aug 05 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their rights to vote. WHAT problems does this cause and what are some possible solutions? v.1

Some people say that studying at school is not important because most important things are learnt outside the school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only, while others believe that media should have educational values. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?