IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

#parents #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern epoch, parents bought a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys for their children as compared to a decade ago,
however
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 inessential to buy so many toys for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
such
Linking Words
 composition.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, parents love to pamper children by fulfilling their wishes. Children are fond of different variety of toys, they are fascinated towards the shape and colour of the toys. By having so many options, would help them in developing their gross motor skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children should be encouraged to play with their toys, so that they do not get attracted towards watching TV or playing games on mobile phones.
Therefore
Linking Words
, parents have to make sure they have enough toys to play with.
Additionally
Linking Words
, children playing with a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys are always busy. They do not get mundane with the same ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, buying a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys for children can negatively impact the children. Children are aware that their parents would buy toys whenever they would ask for, so they do not handle it with care or misuse it.
This
Linking Words
 leads to breakage of toys and waste of money.
Thus
Linking Words
, they do not value their toys because of its easy availability.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children might become rebellious and stubborn if all their demands are fulfilled. So, parents should learn to say no to their children and should restrict the
number
Use synonyms
 of toys.
Additionally
Linking Words
, children are being judged by other children by having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys.
For instance
Linking Words
, a child gets a lot of attention from his friends, if he has numerous toys, but in school, they might not get together with each other. To conclude, there are both advantages and disadvantages of having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys. Too much of anything is detrimental, so one should value it.
Submitted by sarab.sarna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: